To the Doctor: A Daughter Read online

  ‘It’s a bit more formal than a white coat,’ he told her. ‘I put it on for my favourite patients.’

  There was an attempt at a smile. ‘I’ve dragged you away from something.’ And then her mind focused even more. ‘Where’s Mia?’ Her voice cracked and his grip on her shoulders tightened.

  ‘Hey, hang on. I haven’t abandoned her.’

  ‘Where is she?’ She rose, and so did her voice.

  ‘In the next cubicle,’ he told her.

  ‘You admitted her to hospital? Why? What’s wrong?’

  She was so close to the edge… ‘Nothing’s wrong,’ he said flatly, checking the hysteria before it started. ‘I had a date so I left her in kids’ ward.’

  ‘You had a date…’

  ‘A jazz ball.’ He motioned to his dinner suit. ‘You see? The pieces of the jigsaw fit together.’

  Gemma took a deep, searing breath and regrouped. But the anger didn’t fade. ‘You mean you went to a ball-and left Mia in hospital?’ All the emotions of the last few weeks were contained within the fury of her voice. Nate saw anger surge and resurge. ‘Of all the stupid, selfish, arrogant… You have a precious new daughter and you put her in hospital. In hospital! She’s not sick. You know about Golden Staph. You know kids can get sick in hospital even if they’re well to begin with. And she’s yours. She’s your daughter and you dump her-’

  ‘Shush…’

  ‘Don’t shush me.’ Her anger had built to boiling point. Her eyes were flashing fire. She took a step back and if looks could have killed, he’d have been dead on the floor right now. ‘You toad. You uncaring, unfeeling, insensitive toad. You and Fiona. You’re a type. Bring a baby into the world and then you don’t give a toss. Hand her over to the nearest stupid person who’ll take on your responsibilities-’

  That was a bit much. ‘Hey, Jane’s not stupid.’ He was nettled. After all, he’d handed Mia over to his most trusted nurse. ‘And this is a tiny country hospital, Gemma. It’s not a big city hospital where infections are a problem. Until Cady came in Mia was the only child in the kids’ ward. Infections are hardly an issue. Touch wood, but we’ve never had a case of Golden Staph and, please, God, we never will. So.’ He paused and his eyes met hers and held. Challenging. ‘Any other complaints?’

  He was smiling at her, she thought incredulously. The fink. He was smiling!

  ‘You’re laughing. How can you laugh?’ Her anger was building even more, rather than waning. ‘You have a baby and you just dump her…’

  ‘Gemma…’

  ‘Don’t Gemma me.’

  ‘Right.’ His hands came out and caught her again and he held. Her whole body stiffened in his grasp-she was rigid with fury. She wrenched herself backward, but he was having none of it.

  ‘I’m not as irresponsible as you think.’

  ‘How the hell would you know what I think?’

  He grinned at that. ‘Maybe I can guess.’

  ‘You know nothing. You and Fiona-’

  ‘No.’ He took her hands and gripped hard, forcing her to pause mid tirade. ‘Let’s get one thing straight, Gemma. I am not Fiona and there’s been no me and Fiona. Fiona and I were a mistake. Apart from that one disastrous time, which I will regret for ever…’

  ‘Because of Mia?’

  That gave him pause. Because of Mia?

  He thought of the baby as he’d last seen her, curled in sleep like a furled rosebud. She was the most beautiful, most perfect creature.

  His daughter.

  He’d hardly had time to get used to the idea. But… If he could undo what had gone before, wish away her existence… Would he?

  There was uncertainty in his face and Gemma saw it. And she couldn’t understand.

  ‘But you left her,’ she said flatly.

  And Nate thought, How could I?

  The Jazzfest. Donna.

  Sanity.

  ‘Yes. I left her.’ He took a deep breath. ‘Gemma, I have a life.’

  ‘Well, bully for you.’ Her voice cracked with tears. ‘As opposed to me who gets to pick up the pieces of all these people who have a life.’

  ‘Not tonight you don’t,’ he said flatly. Jane came back into the ward then, and she smiled at both of them as Nate looked at her questioningly. ‘Are we organised?’

  ‘Tony’s in the kitchen, cooking, as we speak,’ Jane told them. ‘He was at the ball so he’s just popped over to cook for you and will go back afterwards.’

  ‘Tony?’ Gemma was confused.

  ‘Tony’s the hospital cook,’ Nate told her. ‘My cooking skills are limited and I figured something more than a cheese sandwich was called for. Something tells me you’ve been running on cheese sandwiches-or less-for a long time. Now, I’m about to take your blood sugar just in case, and then we’ll wrap you around a steak with the trimmings.’

  ‘I don’t want-’

  ‘You know, I’m very sure you do.’

  His tone was gentle and Gemma blinked. In the face of her fury he had the capacity to undermine her reason. She should turn on her heel and refuse to have anything to do with this man.

  But he had just taken care of Cady with compassion, skill and kindness. She was stuck here at least until tomorrow and probably longer. Cady was in his hands-and so was Mia, long term.

  ‘Let’s go,’ he told her. ‘Eat and then let fly at me all you like. There’s nothing like a good steak to fuel anger.’

  She choked, but it was on something that might have passed for laughter. ‘Oh, for heaven’s sake…’

  ‘That’s better.’ Nate smiled into her angry eyes and his smile was enough to counter anger all on its own. All of a sudden the thought flashed into her mind-I can see why Fiona chose him for the father of her baby.

  What was she thinking? That was dangerous territory. She was here to hand over a baby and move on. Leaving her emotions absolutely intact.

  ‘I’ll be alright,’ she said stiffly but he smiled again and took her shoulders, twisting her body away from his and propelling her out the door.

  ‘Yes, Dr Campbell. You’ll be fine. Just as soon as you’ve had something to eat. Jane will watch over Cady for us and let us know if he so much as blinks. If he needs you, we’ll come. But meanwhile you have needs as well. For now, Dr Campbell, just shut up and let yourself indulge in what you need. You.’

  ‘But-’

  ‘Not another word.’ And he grinned down at her, that dangerous, laughing smile that made her heart do strange things inside her chest. ‘Let’s go. Now.’

  He wouldn’t listen to another word.

  He sat on the other side of the big kitchen table and traded easy laughter with Tony, a beefy Irishman with a twinkle and a flair for making the most mouthwatering steak and stir-fried vegetables that Gemma had ever eaten.

  They were quite a pair, Gemma thought. The two men were both in dinner suits, Nate’s well cut and smoothly black without adornment-with looks like Nate’s who needed adornment? Tony’s was the same with the addition of a vast green cummerbund, which made his not inconsiderable midriff seem huge.

  And Nate was right. She was starving. The sight of food made her realise just how hungry she was. She was almost through her steak before she ventured to say a word and even then it was tentative.

  ‘You’ve been very good… Both of you. And to leave the ball…’

  ‘Think nothing of it.’ Tony waved away her thanks with indifference. ‘A man needs a break from all this capering, and the serious drinking’s hardly started.’

  ‘You’d still have had a good dinner if you’d arrived at three in the morning,’ Nate told her. ‘But the sauce would be a bit more alcoholic. Burgundy sauce is one of Tony’s specialities but the later in the evening it is, the more burgundy it contains.’

  ‘Hey, don’t scoff at my gravy. It’s a recipe handed down from generation to generation. My old granny-’

  ‘Who died of alcoholic poisoning aged a hundred…’

  ‘She did nothing of the sort,’ Tony said with dign
ity. ‘She didn’t die. Aged a hundred, we were able to bury her pickled and preserved for posterity.’

  And so they continued, bantering easily above Gemma’s head while the wonderful food slipped down, the warmth of the kitchen enveloped her and a feeling of caring prevailed.

  For some stupid reason there were tears welling behind her eyes. Why? Crying was something she’d sworn she was done with, yet today the tears were constantly threatening.

  ‘The lady’s asleep in her dinner,’ Tony said gently and Gemma forced her head up and her eyes wide.

  ‘No, I-’

  ‘I’ll take you to bed,’ Nate told her, and Tony laughed.

  ‘Now, there’s a dangerous line.’

  It certainly was. Gemma’s eyes were wide now and she was awake. Sort of.

  ‘I… I’ll go back to Cady.’

  Nate shook his head. ‘There’s no need. You know as well as I do that Cady will sleep until morning.’

  ‘But-’

  ‘And if he doesn’t…’ Nate said gently, rising and coming around the table to her side. She rose and staggered-the warmth and the weariness proving too much-and his arm came around her shoulders and held. As if he cared. ‘If he doesn’t and he needs you then Jane will come and find you. But for now, you’re coming with me.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘You needn’t think my plans are underhand,’ he told her, but his smile suggested just that and more. ‘I have a feeling sleeping with you would be just that. You’re asleep on your feet already. No. The doctors’ quarters adjoin the hospital and Cady will be a door away. We have a spare bedroom and a spare bed. What do you say, Dr Campbell? Wouldn’t you like to fall into bed?’

  No.

  Yes!

  And suddenly to do anything else was unthinkable. Both men were looking at her, smiling in compassion and caring, and those damned tears were threatening to well and to fall.

  She had no choice.

  ‘Yes, please,’ she told them with as much dignity as she could muster.

  ‘Yes!’

  And before she could protest the arm around her shoulders dropped and she was swept up into a pair of strong, warm arms. Laughing eyes danced down at her. Her feeble protests were ignored and Gemma Campbell, anaesthetist, independent career-woman-and total wuss-was carried straight to bed.

  CHAPTER THREE

  TWO a.m. Time for sleeping. But Nate wasn’t asleep. He’d tossed and turned for a couple of hours and then thrown back the covers and taken himself through the adjoining door into the hospital.

  All was quiet. There were only four patients in the little bush nursing hospital-four patients plus Cady and Mia. And there were no problems tonight. Everyone seemed to be sleeping. Nate made his way through to kids’ ward and Jane was there, sitting beside Cady. When the nurse saw him she smiled and rose.

  ‘They’re both fine. I’ve just taken Cady’s blood pressure and sugar levels and he didn’t stir. You want to see?’ She handed over the chart.

  Twenty. His sugar level was dropping already. Good. It looked good. He gazed down at the sleeping child and he thought, Hell, what a diagnosis. It was so unfair.

  But at least this was the twenty-first century, he thought thankfully. Fifty years ago this diagnosis would have meant major health problems. Now, as long as Cady was careful with himself, there was no reason to think he couldn’t look forward to a long and eventful life.

  But he’d still have to cope with insulin injections. Maybe medical researchers would develop a constant infusion mechanism, he thought, to halt the need for constant injections. Or a cure. Soon…

  ‘Nate, he’ll be fine,’ the nurse said, watching his face and obviously puzzled by his reaction. ‘Kids take to diabetes really easily-much more so than adults. My nephew’s diabetic and he lectures me about good and bad foods all the time.’

  ‘Yes. I know.’

  Still she was watching him with curiosity. There was a lot going on here that Jane didn’t understand.

  But she did understand one thing.

  ‘Your daughter needs feeding.’ There was a vague whimpering from behind the partition. Mia was stirring and her whimpering was threatening to build to a full-throated roar. But not yet. She was simply letting them know it was time.

  ‘Do you want to feed her?’

  ‘No, I-’

  ‘I’ll prepare the formula,’ she told him, disregarding his refusal as if he hadn’t made it. ‘You change her nappy.’

  ‘Me…?’

  ‘You have to start some time-Daddy.’ And she grinned and headed to the kitchen before he could say another word.

  His daughter.

  Mia was his daughter.

  Somehow Nate changed her nappy-a thing he would have thought impossible. There was nothing to it, he thought as he adjusted the tapes. He lifted her from the change table feeling smug.

  Her nappy fell to the floor.

  Whoops.

  ‘OK, young lady, let’s try again.’

  The second attempt was no better than the first but he had the sense not to pick her up straight off. He wrapped her up in her bunny rug before lifting her and when he picked her up he carried her horizontally back to his chair.

  Miraculously the nappy stayed put. Great. Well done, he thought, and his chest expanded a notch or two with paternal pride. Nothing to this parenting caper…

  Now what? He’d hauled on jeans and a T-shirt before he’d come into the hospital and it had been a good choice. His T-shirt was soft and warm, and the baby nestled in as if she belonged. Her tiny rosebud mouth puckered as she turned her cheek, searching for a teat.

  ‘It’s coming,’ he told her. Jane entered with Mia’s bottle and he looked up at her and smiled. ‘Just in time. She looks as if she’s planning a riot.’

  ‘They’re good at getting what they want.’ And she handed him the bottle.

  ‘Aren’t you-?’

  ‘She’s not a patient,’ Jane said softly. ‘She’s your daughter. Your baby. You feed your baby, Dr Ethan. From this day forth…’

  Gemma woke and it was still dark. For a moment she couldn’t think where she was and then the events of the previous day flooded back.

  Cady…

  She’d just check.

  By the glimmer of moonlight streaming in across her bed she could see there was a gown of sorts hanging behind the door. Where was she, for heaven’s sake? She’d been three-quarters asleep when she’d fallen into bed.

  It wasn’t worth taking her bearings now. The gown looked big and warm-in fact, it fell all the way to the floor and would have wrapped around her twice. She snuggled into it and made her way through the darkened house to the hospital next door.

  Nate was there.

  For a moment she thought she was dreaming. She opened the door of kids’ ward and there he was.

  He was settled into an easy chair beside the crib, and he was holding his baby daughter in his arms. The overhead light was off. Only a dim night-light shone beside the chair.

  But it was enough to see him by. And the look on his face…

  It made her catch her breath in sheer astonishment.

  He hadn’t heard her. He was intent only on the baby in his arms. Mia was nearing the end of the bottle, sated with milk, warmth and the security of a baby who knew that everything in her life was right.

  And why shouldn’t it be? Gemma thought, dazed. That such a man should hold her. And love her…

  It might just work, she thought incredulously. Nate was looking down into his daughter’s tiny face with such a look of wonder and awe…

  It was as if he’d been granted a miracle.

  She would have tiptoed away. If she could have. But Cady was beyond him, through the partition separating babies from children. She took a step forward and Nate looked up and saw her.

  ‘Gemma?’

  He sounded as surprised as she was-and maybe he was. She must look a sight. This was some crazy dressing-gown. It was made of quilted velvet-vast and luxurious and totall
y over the top. She felt like she had an insect-sized head on a vast crimson body.

  ‘Um…sorry. I was just checking on Cady.’

  He didn’t move. How could he? He was holding his daughter.

  ‘Cady’s fine,’ he told her. ‘His sugar’s down past twenty. The saline drip’s being running for six hours now so he’ll have fluids aboard. The worst is over.’

  The worst is over… Gemma let that sink in. The enormity of it.

  The last four weeks had been hell. Culminating in tonight. She walked around the partition, looked down at Cady’s sleeping face and thought, Is it true?

  Is the worst over?

  Maybe. And if Nate could learn to love his daughter…

  She’d only have one responsibility. Only Cady. And with Cady she could cope.

  She loved him so much. She closed her eyes and trouble flooded back. The thought of tomorrow. Of saving her job. Of facing Alan with this further drain on her salary. He’d known she was bringing Mia here and he’d approved, but she should be back in Sydney now.

  If she lost her job he’d be furious, and with good reason.

  But how could she cope? Would the child-care centre take Cady back, knowing that he was a diabetic?

  She’d resign and take care of him-but if she lost her job, Alan would-

  ‘Worry about tomorrow tomorrow,’ Nate said gently, and she jumped. Heck, what was it about the man? Did he have a crystal ball?

  ‘I’m not-’

  ‘You’re worrying about the future. One day at a time, Gemma. Or one night. And speaking of nights, you have no business being awake. I put you to bed.’

  ‘I’m not very good at staying put.’

  ‘I can see that.’ Nate rose and stood looking down at her, his tiny daughter cradled in his arms. ‘But there are no problems tonight. I’m in charge. And look,’ he told her, and there was a huge amount of pride in his voice, ‘I’ve fed her, I’ve changed her nappy and I’ve put her back to sleep.’

  ‘That’s wonderful.’ And it was. Gemma smiled up at him, their smiles caught and held-and all of a sudden the room was full of something she didn’t understand.